Don’t Take the Seat. Create It.

If you’ve ever looked around the boardroom—or your calendar—and thought, “This isn’t what I want,” you’re not alone. And you're not ungrateful, unrealistic, or overthinking.

You’re waking up.

Many of the brilliant women I work with—executives, founders, senior leaders—got where they are by playing by the rules. They studied hard, worked harder, and checked all the boxes. But somewhere along the way, they started asking: What is this costing me?

That’s the moment when the shift begins.

Some try to adjust—add mindfulness to the mayhem, try time-blocking their way to sanity, or chase promotions hoping the next one will feel better. Others start pushing for a different seat—more senior, more flexible, more visible.

But here’s what I’ve learned: whether you’re fighting for a different seat or trying to make peace with the one you’re in, you’re still playing someone else’s game.

What if the most powerful thing you could do… was build your own table?

One that holds all of you: your ambition, your values, your need for joy, rest, creativity, impact.

Let’s be real—most leadership structures weren’t built with us in mind. Not for our identities. Not for our multiple roles. Not for our lives.

So why do we keep bending ourselves to fit into them?

I’m not saying walk away from your career. I’m saying, make it your own.

One of my clients,had risen quickly into a global role. She was leading teams, managing massive change, and getting accolades. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that her life wasn’t hers anymore.

She was doing great work—just not on her terms.

In coaching, we didn’t just look at her job. We looked at her whole life. We talked about who she wanted to be—not just what she wanted to do. We mapped out what energized her, what drained her, what boundaries needed to be reclaimed.

The most powerful thing we did?

We gave her permission to imagine something new.

Not more. Not less. Just different.

She didn’t quit. She redesigned.

She re-negotiated responsibilities. She blocked time for thinking and creating, not just reacting. She found ways to integrate her leadership strengths with her desire to be more present at home—and more intentional with her energy.

She created a seat that fits her. And now, she leads better because of it.

Here’s what I want you to know: You don’t have to settle for roles that ask you to fragment yourself. You don’t have to shrink your life to grow your career.

You can design a seat that honors your full humanity.

What does that look like?

It means choosing alignment over approval. Integration over perfection. Wholeness over hustle.

It means asking better questions:

• What do I actually want?

• What do I want to feel more of?

• What version of success is mine?

It also means getting honest about trade-offs—on your terms. No one can have it all all the time, but you get to choose what matters most in each season.

And here's the secret: when you build your own seat, you stop looking sideways. You stop comparing, competing, justifying. You start leading like yourself.

But don’t expect it to be easy.

Creating your own seat requires courage. It means saying no to what's expected. It means advocating for your design when others are still following templates.

That’s where coaching comes in.

Together, we build clarity. We confront the noise. We practice saying no. And we test new ways of working and leading that feel like you.

We don’t wait for someone to offer a better seat. We build it.

One decision. One boundary. One brave ask at a time.

And the payoff?

You lead with power, presence, and peace. You model a new way for others. And you stop living your life in default mode.

So, if the role you’re in feels too tight, too distant from who you are—don’t assume you have to jump ship.

Maybe you just need to build something new. Maybe you need to stop trying to fit in… and start showing up fully.

You don’t need to be louder or tougher or busier.

You need to be you—without apology.

You’re not stuck between “this” or “that.”

You have another option: your own seat. Your own design. Your own rhythm.