Your To-Do List Might Be a Wish List

While listening to Mel Robbins’ conversation with Cal Newport, PhD, I found myself smiling, nodding, and pausing the podcast just to let certain words sink in. Cal said, “your to-do list is really a wish list.” That hit me. I looked at my own notes for the week and thought, yes, that’s exactly what it is—a list of hopeful intentions, most of which will never get done. And that’s not a reflection of failure. It’s a reflection of how our brains actually work.

Cal explained that our brains are terrible at estimating how long things will really take. We think a presentation will take an hour to refine, and it turns into three. We believe we can draft a strategic plan in one afternoon, and it eats up the entire week. This miscalculation is constant, and yet we build our lives around lists that assume the opposite—that we can stack task upon task without consequence. That’s why to-do lists so often feel like setups for disappointment. They’re not commitments, they’re wishes.

This conversation made me reflect on how many leaders I work with who are exhausted not because they lack capability but because they’re chasing a fantasy. They keep adding to the wish list, believing that busyness proves value. The calendar fills, the hours stretch, and the badge of honor becomes, “Look at how much I’m carrying.” But busyness, as Cal reminded us, is not productivity. It’s often a shield we hide behind because slowing down feels scarier. When you’re busy, you don’t have to confront the harder question: am I doing the right things?

Cal’s reminder about history was grounding. Newton, Einstein, Freud—names that shaped entire fields—didn’t split their attention across dozens of goals. They obsessed over one thing for decades. Slowly. Patiently. Progress that looked invisible at times but built into breakthroughs. As he put it, “Doing things slowly doesn’t matter in the long run.

The idea that everything has to be done at the same time is what traps us.”

That trap is familiar. It shows up in executives who accept every meeting request, who check email like it’s oxygen, who never say no because the fear of missing out is stronger than the desire for focus. But there’s a cost. The more you feed the wish list, the more you face what Cal calls the “productivity dragon.” When you write down everything you want to do and then calculate the actual hours, the truth is terrifying: it’s impossible. The dragon is bigger than you can ever fight. And the only way forward isn’t to slay it, it’s to stop feeding it.

So what does this look like in practice? It starts with telling the truth about time. If your brain is bad at estimating, assume everything takes longer than you think. Give yourself double the time and see what happens. Suddenly, the list shrinks—but what remains is more intentional. You start making choices not based on hope but on reality. And those choices begin to change how you lead.

I’ve seen leaders transform when they shift from running on a wish list to mastering their time and energy. Stress decreases because they’re no longer chasing the impossible. Decisions sharpen because their brains aren’t fogged by rush and overload. Quality rises because they’re fully present for the tasks they do choose. And over time, their entire leadership presence shifts. They stop showing up as frantic firefighters and start showing up as steady, clear decision-makers.

The hardest part, of course, is boundaries. Saying no feels risky. It can feel like letting people down or losing influence. But the reality is the opposite. Every no strengthens your yes. Every no is an act of clarity that frees you to give your best energy where it matters most. And as leaders model this, they give permission to their teams to do the same—to stop glorifying the grind and start honoring what really counts.

As I listened to Cal and Mel explore these ideas, I couldn’t help but think about how much lighter leadership can feel when we stop measuring ourselves by busyness. What if success wasn’t about how long your list was but how wisely you chose from it? What if the real badge of honor wasn’t exhaustion but clarity?

Here’s my invitation to you: the next time you sit down with your to-do list, call it what it is—a wish list. Then get curious. How much of this is even possible if you account for the reality that your brain underestimates time? How much of this is worth doing at all? What’s the one thing that deserves your focus this week, even if it takes longer than you expect?

Leaders who embrace this shift not only reclaim their own energy, they also change the culture around them. They show their teams that slowing down is not weakness, it’s wisdom. They prove that fewer, better choices create deeper impact. And they remind all of us that productivity isn’t about speed—it’s about intention.

So here’s to fewer wishes, more clarity, and the courage to focus on what truly matters.

⏯️ Watch the full Mel Robbins episode with Cal Newport here: https://youtu.be/x3OA9Q6u9EU?si=EAnlJBlPgjGVltmy