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Your are NOT Assertive (Yet)

Updated: May 29

How To Speak Up And Stand Out With Confidence

You're a powerhouse, constantly seeking growth and charging forward. But even the most driven individuals can get stuck feeling held back at times. From my years of coaching high achievers and global executives, I know you might have battled giving direct feedback, worried it might rub someone the wrong way. Or perhaps you've found yourself saying "yes" to things you didn't want, unsure how to speak up.


Well, it's time to shatter those limitations and communicate with unstoppable assertiveness. As someone who has guided hundreds of leaders and executives to command any room, I can tell you that mastering assertive communication unlocks your ability to move boldly toward your biggest aspirations.


Assertive communication lets you express yourself clearly while still respecting others. Imagine how unstoppable you'll feel stating your views confidently yet positively. No more diluted ideas or missed opportunities because you held yourself back.


The personal and professional wins from assertive communication are massive, as I've witnessed firsthand:


  • Relationships instantly upgrade when you avoid mixed messages and conflicts by voicing your needs directly. I can't tell you how many times I've seen colleagues, friends or family members go from tense to understanding once assertive dialogue is applied.

  • Self-confidence soars as you back yourself and your perspectives. Innovative solutions flourish when everyone gets on the same page through open discussion. Assertive communication sends a message that you value yourself and your opinions, boosting your self-confidence and self-esteem.

  • Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills: Assertive individuals are more likely to engage in open discussions, leading to innovative solutions and effective conflict resolution.

  • Reduced Stress: Setting boundaries and saying "no" to unrealistic demands can significantly reduce stress levels, allowing you to focus on what truly matters.


I've had the opportunity to observe and coach executives who communicated assertively and were able to unleash their power. These are the practical strategies I learned and leveraged:


  • Confident Body Language: Walk tall, make eye contact and use purposeful gestures. This sends an unmistakable commanding presence.

  • Frame things from your perspective using "I" statements like "I believe ... " instead of blaming phrasing.

  • Set crystal-clear boundaries about what's off-limits so people respect your needs. This is clutch for not getting overloaded. I had a client who couldn't say no to additional work until we defined her "ring of responsibilities."

  • Gatekeeping Your Time: Practice politely declining things that drain you. High achievers protect their time and energy relentlessly.

  • When others speak, listen actively and synthesize their point before responding. This prevents misunderstandings and makes people feel truly heard. One executive doubled her perceived empathy just by perfecting engaged listening.

  • Assertive communication can seem daunting to put into practice. But responding to requests with "Let me check my priorities and get back to you" is simple but can shift the power dynamic.


Assertiveness grants you the power to get what you want while treating others with respect. No more walking on eggshells or settling for less than you deserve! In my decades of coaching high-impact players, I've seen assertive communication transform people from insecure and doubtful into commanding forces who inspire clarity and conviction. It allows you to become a person of influence who drives the conversation in their desired direction.


There are ways to measure your assertiveness using:

  • Self-Reflection: Reflect on your interactions and assess whether you were able to express yourself assertively and respectfully.

  • Feedback From Others: Seek feedback from trusted individuals or loved ones to gauge how your communication style is perceived and identify areas for improvement.

  • Journaling: Keep a journal to track your assertiveness goals and progress, noting situations where you were assertive and areas for growth.


Incorporating assertive communication into your daily interactions can lead to significant personal and professional growth. It's a skill that can be learned and mastered with practice, allowing you to navigate life's challenges with confidence and grace.


You've got a voice designed to shatter limitations—use it! I can confidently say that assertive communication is an indispensable tool for dismantling self-imposed barriers and becoming one of the greats.


Embrace your assertive power—you've got this!


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