Rewriting Your Inner Dialogue

You know that voice in your head. The one that double-checks every email. That whispers, “You could’ve said that better.” That reminds you of what you forgot instead of what you’ve done.

Most high-achieving women have learned to live with this voice like background noise. It’s just always there, narrating.

But at some point, it stops being helpful and starts running the show.

It talks you out of applying. It edits your ideas before you pitch them. It pushes you to prove, even when you’ve already delivered.

Here’s the shift: the voice isn’t you. It’s a script you inherited—one you can revise.

I’ve coached so many executive women who have all the external markers of success. Titles. Teams. Impact. But their inner world tells a different story—one shaped by decades of perfectionism, performance, and comparison.

They’re not trying to be arrogant. They’re trying to survive in a system that told them: Stay polished. Stay humble. Don’t ruffle feathers. Don’t fall behind.

And over time, they become fluent in self-criticism.

One of my clients—a global strategy leader—told me, “I get more feedback from myself than anyone else. And it’s never kind.”

That moment landed deeply. Because she wasn’t alone.

So many women learn to succeed despite their inner voice, not because of it.

But what if you didn’t just quiet the critic? What if you turned it into your coach?

This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about rewriting the narrative that drives your leadership.

Instead of saying:

• “You should’ve known that,” you say, “What did I learn?”

• “They’re going to see right through me,” you say, “I’m showing up fully—and that’s enough.”

• “I can’t afford to mess this up,” you say, “Mistakes don’t define me—my recovery does.”

You start talking to yourself like someone you trust. Someone you’d hire. Someone you’d follow.

That’s when everything changes.

Not because the doubt disappears. But because it stops being your compass.

When you lead from the critic, your energy goes into control. When you lead from the coach, your energy goes into impact.

Your presence softens. Your decisions get cleaner. Your voice strengthens. Not because you’re pushing harder—but because you’ve built a more solid foundation inside.

So how do you make the shift?

• First, listen. Get curious about your patterns. Where does the critic show up most? What triggers it? Whose voice does it sound like?

• Then, name it. Externalize it. Give it a nickname if you have to. The goal isn’t to silence it. It’s to stop confusing it with the truth.

• Finally, replace it—with intention. When the critic speaks, practice responding. Use your own voice. Your own language. Your own wisdom.

This is not a one-time transformation. It’s a discipline. A muscle. A practice.

But it’s one of the most powerful things you can do as a leader.

Because when you rewrite your inner dialogue, everything else gets clearer: your boundaries, your vision, your resilience, your voice.

And that? That’s where real power lives.