The Power of Shaping Your Own Seat

There is a moment in every leader’s career when she realizes she has been sitting in a role that was never truly designed for her. The title is accurate, the metrics are strong, and others see her accomplishments. But inside, something feels off. The rhythm of the work doesn’t match the pace of her energy. The expectations don’t reflect her strengths.

The way the role is defined leaves little room for the kind of leadership she most wants to practice.

This is not failure. It is evolution.

I often tell my clients: the seat you inherit is just a starting point. Leadership becomes sustainable only when you shape it to reflect who you are, not just what the system expects.

One executive I worked with described the experience this way: “I kept waiting for the role to adjust around me. Then I realized — it never would. The adjustment had to come from me.” That realization became the turning point in her career. Instead of adapting endlessly to a structure that drained her, she began to reshape the role. She clarified her priorities, redefined how her team engaged, and shifted her work focus to the strategic vision that mattered most to her. The job title stayed the same, but the experience of leading transformed completely.

Too many women hesitate to do this because we are taught that seats at the table are scarce and must be preserved exactly as they are. We inherit them with gratitude and perform them with precision. But leadership is not about preservation. It is about creation.

Shaping your own seat begins with clarity. Where is your energy being spent in ways that don’t align with your purpose? Which parts of your role feel performative rather than impactful? Which expectations do you carry because they were handed down, not because they reflect your contribution? These questions are not easy, but they open the door to authorship.

For one client, the redesign meant declining opportunities that looked prestigious but pulled her away from her core purpose. For another, it meant restructuring her team so she could step back from operational firefighting and focus on long-term growth. In every case, the shift was not about doing less. It was about leading with greater precision and presence.

The truth is, no one else will shape the role for you. Organizations are built to protect continuity, not to challenge assumptions. If you wait for permission to lead differently, you may wait forever. The responsibility — and the opportunity — lies with you.

This is especially true for multicultural women, who often navigate competing cultural codes while leading in systems not designed for them. The skill of adaptation can become so ingrained that redesign feels radical. But what if adaptation isn’t the highest form of leadership? What if authorship is?

When you claim authorship, everything changes. You stop measuring yourself by inherited standards and start shaping your own outcomes. You stop asking how to fit in and start asking how to create impact on your terms. And most importantly, you begin modeling for others that leadership doesn’t have to mean erasure. It can mean expansion.

So, if you find yourself in a seat that feels misaligned, don’t dismiss the restlessness. Listen to it. It’s not a flaw to correct — it’s an invitation to evolve. The power of shaping your own seat lies in the courage to say: this role is not fixed, and neither am I.

Leadership is not about accepting every seat as it is. It’s about building the one that allows you to thrive — and in doing so, opening the door for others to do the same.